Take Control of Just One Thing: From 2016 into 2017.

Nova, Truly

I often sit and work on umbhalo: the Ndebele blanket my grandmother’s friend gave her to gift to me, because she had given one to her friend to gift to her granddaughter too.

Flustered by life and overwhelmed by the aching worry that I would not pass my Honours year°°, I stood in the Anthropology office and cried. The door stays open, literally and figuratively. It’s a safe space. Before the tears, I had shook my head intently: “I’m not gonna make it. I’m not gonna make it. I mean, I guess I could go to UNISA? God knows I can’t re-do Honours here. The shame would eat me. I couldn’t face you all…” Andrea, our beloved administrator with her beautiful grey-streaked hair and kind eyes, shook her head back at me and said: “You know, Lebo, life will always happen at the same time as school but you have…

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(I Suck at Titles)

Time brought us here
New, changed, strange
Pain held our hand,
Found us and forced survival
Truth was our guide
Shapes of love in eternity
For self, for power, for joy

I’m only reaching because you’re nearer
To find that I never had to exert at all
Just touch
And feel
And be

The fear that holds us in its grasp
Puzzled by our valour and strength
Dazed and confused
Loving in treacherous territory



Our Chance (26/07/2013)

I’m dreaming in slow motion
Thinking about the little molecules swimming in the depths of my mind
Stimulating, Working, Floating ELECTRICITY
There you stand
You’re showing me the screen of your thoughts
Your pursuit of my beauty has led me to the best part of me

I’ve found this maze in my soul
This never-ending, everlasting blinding truth
It allows me to find hope in the struggle
It’s a sadness that allows me to open up each wound in my being
To spread their pus and blood and hope they form words

Told I’m too impenitent
Too opinionated
My stormy nature too much for the calm world that’s too pragmatic to hold and protect my foolhardy NATURE

Dreams become my refuge
A world inside my head
Where I neither have to colour between the lines or contain my pleasure at the magnificence of our electricity
This life has shown me flames
Flames that seem to have burned a path to you

I’ve struggled, I’ve cried
These bruised knuckles and tear stains are the parts of me that tell my journey to self-love

It took that much

Now here you are, not “my everything”,
Not “my forever and a day”
But my each-day-as-it-comes.
My little piece of happiness

Let’s do it right

To be Happy

We really take happiness and joy so for granted until we experience it at its best. It’s like every other time you thought you were happy gets questioned because of the sheer joy that you feel in the moment.
I’m all about that right now. I have no time for stress and anxiety. I’m going to do the best that I can and reap the rewards.
I will read, love and do what makes me happy. I will strive for it, at any cost.
I’m 24 and self-aware, there’s no time or need for any kind of dishonesty with myself at this time. I’m still learning about me. I’m learning that I love people and helping them achieve their dreams. I’m learning that I’m in control of everything in me. It’s scary yet exciting.
I implore you to do the same. Experience things anew. If it doesn’t feel right, stop doing it. However… If it makes you HAPPY, keep on doing it. Let it be good for you and your spirit. Let it be healthy. Let it be yours. This life thing only comes once in this form. Let us refuse to waste it being miserable.


Song On My Mind: Submerge: Til We Become The Sun (Maxwell)

The Good Stuff

This is the good stuff.
The kind that has you up at 2am mulling over a cup of tea, loving each second of life coz every next one feels as good as the last
The kind that has you staring into nothing and seeing rainbows and savannahs
The kind that has you catching raindrops in your hand, embracing the grace before the puddle,
The kind that has you admiring the techni-coloured bubble before it bursts

Yes, this is that good stuff

The kind that has you sending knee-mails to The Most High, thanking Him for colouring your tomorrows with hope and joy
Imploring Him to let it last a little longer

Yes, this is that good stuff

The kind that has you wanting to be a better person so you can feel like you deserve it more
The kind that simply puts a spring in your step
The kind that brushes your face with a glow of joy
The toe-curling stuff
The stuff that takes you to the edge of heaven and back
The kind that awakens the royalty in you
The kind that reveals the majesty you’ve always been
Forever yours this amazing stuff…
Forever good
Forever essential
Forever you

The good stuff


Song on My Mind:
Corinne Bailey Rae – Trouble Sleeping


Sometimes you sit back and really try to qualify and interrogate why and how you have the things you do.
Thinking about the routine of everyday life. The predictability of it all. Knowing that each day consists of waking, learning, experiencing, and then resting so it can be absorbed and further absorbed and remodelled and stretched in the dream realm.
Isn’t it amazing? You KNOW you’re going to wake up tomorrow and experience anew.
What a blessing! There are at least a thousand other people in the world who don’t.
Who scrape by each day just to make the next intake of breath. If that’s not you, be grateful

You are blessed.
To be reading this. To be certain of the next step. To be aware of love and warmth. Appreciate that.

Cleo xox

Oh… This song is currently on my mind. Jilly from Philly always putting things into perspective.